killedwithlove | For insurgoaltus

Dorian closed his eyes, because if Cole had hit hard enough for a magical barrier to shatter ... he should have been dead. Or at least with worse injuries. He quietly cursed under his breath, before he lifted Cole under the arms, strong enough for a mage -- or for just anyone really.

Still, swinging a staff around in the Tevinter fashion did take training. It wasn't all libraries. He made sure to hold Cole by the waist, so he could lean against him as he got out of his small clothes and the like.

"...I do not like being scared about what happens to you." He finally managed.

Cole wrapped his arms around Dorian's neck as Dorian lifted him upright. For a long moment he was decidedly unhelpful, just cuddling in and resting against Dorian, weight on his good leg.

Then he actually started stripping and got himself naked. He was a bit of a mess. They always were after time in the field, a lack of bathing facilities and fighting and tramping in dirt never doing anyone favours.

"I... no one's ever been scared for me before. I'm sorry I scared you."

Dorian wanted to let Cole nuzzle, he honestly did, but bath first and then cuddling. Get his leg taken care of, his poor spirit boy...

Who was now naked, and now Dorian will be getting him into the tub, thank you.

"Yes ... well. You know how much I care. I ... will be unbelievably cross with you if you let something happen to yourself." He muttered, as he grabbed the shampoo. "Now, duck your head under. I'll wash your hair while you soak."

Dragging his leg, it took a bit of effort to get Cole into the bath, because he was injured, yes, but he was also clinging to Dorian a little, soaking in his compassion.

Eventually, he lowered himself into the water. The injury looked better for more healing being poured into it but the heat still pierced, aching and then soothing.

He slid under and surfaced again, rubbing at his face. "I don't..." He didn't know how to cope with someone caring about him so directly and so much. "Okay."

Dorian bit his lip, because ... well. He poured shampoo on his hands, pulling himself back into his hard Tevinter shell. "Well, honestly, if you want me not to care, I can go back to that. I am excellent at being blaise."

He tipped his fingers into Cole's scalp, scrubbing his fingers through the fine blonde hair. Glad for the bubbles and that Cole could not look at him. "After all, I am no one's mother. Or father."

"You always care. You just don't let people know. I know. It's... nice. Scary, but sweet." He reached backwards, trying to touch Dorian. "You're going away. Not like Cassandra does, but you're still going away. I'm sorry. Please don't go away."

He petted the arm he found, stroking it softly. "Neither am I. I don't understand."

Dorian sighed, more exasperated than cold, because despite his best efforts, Cole reaching out to him and touching wet fingers against his arm was ... well. "... All right, I won't go away. Even if I am scary."

He shook his head, "It just means that I don't usually spend my time ...being a nursemaid. I don't usually feel urge, honestly. And if you are scared, then I must be three times as scared as you, to act like such a fool."

"You're never scary to me. Being cared about is... I don't know. Scary? But not." He pressed his head into Dorian's hands, because it felt good and he wanted Dorian to keep doing it.

"You're not acting like a nurse maid. You're acting like..." Cole hummed and closed his eyes. "He's not fragile, but he's fragile compared to them, under the muscle and armour he could break so easily, I could break him. But you won't break me. You want to make sure life doesn't break me."

He didn't know if he was saying the right things. He hoped he was.

"...Yes. Because you are afraid you are going to lose it, or not be worthy of it." One corner of his mouth twisted. "Or you are deluding yourself, which was a problem of mine." He hummed as Cole pressed his head back into Dorian's fingers, and he kept kneading the shampoo in deeper.

He nods his head slowly at that. "Yes, that is very true. I don't want life to break you ... and I know you're not a delicate flower, hardly one at all." He scritched his fingers in deep into the suds. "It falls into the whole - I care now, and I will lose him, fear."

"I don't want to hurt you, or take anything. I'm not them. I just like you."

Cole relaxed a bit more, quiet for a long moment as his head was massaged and he just enjoyed being touched. He could feel Dorian's affection and concern through his touch.

"You loving me won't break me. I don't think it will. No one's ever loved me or Cole before. But I don't think it'll break me."

"Well ... good. Because I just like you too."

He started to hum softly as he washed Cole's hair, quiet and ... well, finally at peace. Cole was here, he liked him, it was fine ...

And then, he sputtered, "I never - I - ah ..." Oh Maker. "Cole you don't just ... pull those things from someone's head!"

Cole blinked and tipped his head back to look at Dorian upside down, past the lip of the tub. "I didn't pull it from your head. I felt it in your touch."

Duh. He didn't have to pull these things. They were just there, in Dorian's touches and looks, clear to anyone who could read the language. "You can deny it if it will make you feel more comfortable."

He knew what was the truth.

Dorian let out a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a whimper, as he covered his face briefly. Then he glowered at Cole, poking him in his rather adorable round nose.

"Listen Nug, I can't very well deny something that you already know. Now I just get to feel awkward about it for heaven knows how long." He grumbled as he scooped up some water to rinse Cole's hair clear. "Of course I'm the idiot who falls in love first. Marvelous."

Cole's whole face wrinkled around the poke, then he made a grab for Dorian's finger instead. It wasn't much of a try, preferring to relax into the bath.

"Does it matter who feels what first? It's not a competition, is it? Why does the person who feels something first get called an idiot? Or is it only you who calls you an idiot for loving people?"

Cole quite possibly knew the answers, but he wanted to hear Dorian's thoughts and comments on them. His logic. And his emotions as he worked through it.

"I wish I could tell you if what I feel is love, but I just don't know. I've never known love. Me or Cole. When I know, I'll tell you."

He missed by a mile, so Dorian teased his finger down Cole's cheek in retaliation. He sighed pensively.

"No, it is not a competition. It is merely ... a vulnerability. Such feelings between two men where I come from, it's unheard of. Such alliances are for pleasure only, not for feelings. To leave myself open to feeling something like this when you don't feel the same - you have power over me."

One corner of his mouth twisted, "I just wish we were on equal footing here -- but alas. That is never the way of Dorian Pavus. Ah well, at least I am consistent in making things harder on myself."

Cole hummed and dipped his head in the water to rinse out the suds. That done, he twisted around to lie against the tub's edge, hands clutching the edge to keep himself near level with Dorian.

"No. I don't have power over you. I'd pull my knives on Rhys to protect you." And maybe that was love. Maybe it wasn't. He didn't know. But it was true.

"We are on equal footing. Please don't try to put us on different footings. One of us might fall and it would hurt. I won't make things harder on you. I promise."

Dorian looked at him for a long, hard moment, before he tilted his head so his face was on level with Cole's. He searched those ancient eyes -- and Maker help him -- knew Cole wasn't lying. Not to him, at least, and definitely not to himself.

So he nodded once, before he leaned in and stole a kiss against those warmed lips, running his fingers through damp hair. "Very well then. Equal footing. Let me get you a towel, partner."

He pushed himself up to his feet, going towards the chest to pull out a towel, and some clothes. "We'll also be showing you how to put things on the right way."

Cole couldn't exploit someone, even if he knew how. Not when their hurt was something he could see and feel.

He leaned in to meet the kiss, sinking back into the bath and starting to actually wash the rest of himself, removing bloodstains and dirt. He scrubbed his face with his hands.

"The clothes never complained about how I put them on."

Dorian gave him a wry look over his shoulder, as he carried a pile of clothes over to a chair, and pushed that chair in front of the tub.

"Yes well, I have a feeling most clothes just love on you and fall in comfortable, well worn folds around you, so I don't trust them." He put the towel in place as well. "There, now just let me know when you're ready to get out."

"What's wrong with comfortable, well worn folds?" All his clothes were more the second hand, so yes, very well worn folds.

"I should get the stains off. I think that's important." He was washing between toes, rubbing the bottom of his foot for a long moment and then letting it go.

"I like the warmth. Best thing about baths is being warm." Which after Emprise du Lion... Even Cole noticed the cold of that place after a while.

"Absolutely nothing - as long as they are facing the right way around." Dorian flopped in a chair, pulling up a book and pouring himself a glass of wine. A laugh slipped out.

"Yes, please. If you want to curl up in my bed, all stains must be removed, thank you very much."

He looked over, his grey eyes warming. "I couldn't agree more. Outside of the naked part. That's nice too."

Cole kept cleaning himself, carefully lifting his injured thigh so he could clean it. The bruising was there, but he gently rubbed at the bloodstain, lifting it from his skin.

"Cadash said I have to be in bed to rest. Does this mean I need to get my own bed at some point?"

He leaned his head on the rim of the tub and reached a hand out to Dorian. "I can be naked more, if you like."

Dorian marked his place in the book with a finger as he brought his other hand to his mouth, tilting his dark head a little. "The selfish part of me wants to say - 'No, of course not!' The sensible, rational, doesn't want to be horrible murdered by a bald apostate says ... 'For the state of mind of all our friends, probably.'"

He reached out in turn, choking a little at the thought of Cole ... more naked for his benefit, "While ... I ... would certainly enjoy it, we run into the same problem as we do with the you only using my bed."

"Cadash doesn't care where I sleep. Solas..." Cole went quiet and looked somewhere else.

"I don't sleep. I don't want to. I didn't mind lying in bed with you, because I could watch you and listen to your emotions and I didn't get bored like I do when I have to lie by myself."

He shrugged a little. "I could do it where other people don't see. I'm very good at not being seen."

"Ye-es. Solas." Dorian stated simply, arching an eyebrow. They both had a fairly certain idea of what Solas would think of all this.

Not that Dorian cared much, when Cole talked like that. His smile curved up under his mustache. "I would hate for you get bored ... so I suppose you'll just have to stay as long as you like, then."

A clearing of the throat, "Well. Yes. You ... could do that."

For insurgoaltus

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