killedwithlove | For insurgoaltus

For insurgoaltus

The next day, Cole had woken Dorian up to let him know he was heading out with the Inquisitor. She wanted to go to Emprise du Lion for a few days, which meant being kind to Dorian and leaving him behind and taking Cole instead, since he never minded the cold.

Cole, Solas and Blackwall set out into Emprise du Lion with Cadash.

They were gone for eight days. Not unusual with travel times, but they came back in poor shape. Blackwall's shield was near split in half, Solas was using his staff to aid his walking and Cole was being carried in the cart rather than walking alongside the pony and talking to her.

Cadash was bloodied and bruised and looking the best of then. Which wasn't saying much, but they'd done their jobs and kept her safe. At some cost apparently.

The scouts were saying words like 'ambush' and 'slave caravans, growing the lyrium in them even before the cart drew in through the gates and people started to clamber off.

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Dorian made a quiet tutting noise as Cole shivered atop him, and he lifted one hand to pull the blanket up over them both. He needed to stay warm, after all. No risk of infection for his Nug.

"Are you all right?" He whispered in the near darkness, his other hand still stroking through Cole's hair. It would be so easy for Cole to be overwhelmed ...

Cole helped pull the blanket around them, tucking it in and wriggling to get comfortable on Dorian. He slid down a little, just to rest his head on Dorian's shoulder and chest more.

"Yes. I've never felt so real." He stroked along Dorian's ribs, kneading softly. "Thank you. For trusting me."

Dorian smiled slowly, letting the other man curl into him. He let his eyes close at the touch, thinking of Cole as a lean, rather seductive cat, the way he curled up into him.

"Well ... thank you, for giving me something to trust in." He exhaled slowly, "Will you come to me again, I wonder..."

"What do you mean," he asked softly. "I'm staying in here. Cadash said so, because my leg needs rest."

He rubbed his cheek against Dorian's chest, cuddling close. "Why won't my eyes stay open?"

"I mean ... would you ever come to bed with me again, or have you sated your curiosity on what it means to be real." Dorian smiled again, before he whispered quietly.

"Because you are worn out, Nug. Sex will do that to you."

"I didn't do it because I was curious about being real. I did it because I wanted to share it with you." And having done it, he wanted more. He was just feeling a little heavy at that moment.

"And it was wonderful. I don't know how people resist doing it more." He pressed a slow kiss to Dorian's chest. "I don't want to sleep... It's frightening."

Dorian's smile only grew at that, and he hid it by pressing a kiss to the top of Cole's head. "Then I believe I should be the one thanking you, yes?"

That caused a laugh that had Dorian's whole chest rumbling, "They don't, Cole. In fact they have it a great deal more often." He hummed at the kiss, "You don't have to sleep. You can just lie on me, and I can answer your questions, if you like. I know how much you like learning things."

Cole relaxed even more as Dorian's mirth and happiness spread further through him. "Will we do this more often? Together?"

He licked his lips and tasted salt and pleasure, which led to his using his tongue to lap another bead of sweat from Dorian's skin. "You taste good. One day, can I taste you all over?"

"We'll do this as often as your stamina allows." Dorian promised, his voice dropping an octave. "Because if you think I am going to let you out of this bed without one more round, you have severely underestimated my attraction to you. Don't worry, I have ways of clearing that up."

He hummed again, twisting his fingers a little into Cole's hair. "Only if you allow me to do the same."

"I'm not handsome," Cole said softly. He knew he wasn't handsome. Or pretty. But he didn't mind that he wasn't those things. "We can do it again? I don't know if I can do it again right now. I feel like I just finished fighting a dragon, but really, really good as well."

The light tug felt nice and Cole hummed softly, leaning up slightly into it.

"No, I am the handsome one in this relationship." He shifted his hand a little, so he could sweep the hair away from Cole's features. "But you have many appealing features ... your eyes, your mouth - with and without smiling, although I prefer the former. You have a very attractive body, and your hands are brilliant, all the way around. Mostly importantly though ... you are a good person, Cole."

His mouth crooked, "We can do it again. After we rest from slaying the Dragon of Sexual Appetites."

He tugged again, letting his own eyes close. "I enjoy being kissed by someone who actually likes me. It's novel."

Cole's hair was perpetually in his eyes, but he liked that when it made Dorian run his fingers through it to sweep it aside and look at him. "And you're beautiful. Inside and outside." The outside had taken more trouble to notice. The inside was just apparent to him.

"I like you a lot. And I like kissing you. A lot. Why is it novel?"

Dorian cracked a smile at that, not that he wasn't already smiling like a total fool. "Trust you to see the inside well before the outside... but I am glad both are appreciated."

"Well, simply because most like to take their pleasure and run..." He tipped his head, so he could steal another kiss. "You seem content to stay and burrow."

The good thing was that Cole wasn't watching Dorian's face and was instead watching some middle distance as he rolled the taste of Dorian on his tongue. "I'm learning to see outsides as well." It had taken time to realise they were important and not the same as the inside.

"I don't want to leave you." He tipped his head up as he was kissed, a soft sigh of contentment escaping his lips as Dorian did so.

Very good that he was not, for Dorian knew he looked as dewy as some young waif with his first lover. He stroked Cole's hair again, speaking quietly, "Just remember ... the insides are always more important. Although maintaining the outside should always be a priority."

He kissed that upturned lips again, "Then you don't have to.."

"I don't need to remember. I already know it." Kindness, integrity, empathy, they would always mean more to him than being pretty or strongly muscled.

"Cadash would get upset if I left. I said I'd stay here." He took another kiss and pressed himself against Dorian. "I want to stay here with you."

"Then you are wiser than most." He murmured, before pressing his lips again to Cole's, letting their lips linger together for a moment.

"I am certainly not kicking you out of bed, Nug." He curved his fingers up the base of the other man's spine, drawing out little circles. "You may stay as long as you wish."

Cole shivered at the light touch of fingers over his spine. "Feels nice," he murmured into Dorian's skin. "You're always so gentle to me. With me. I don't know which of those is right."

"They are both right. You've known so much suffering, Cole. Yours, or someone else's. I feel as if ... well. You need someone to show you what kindness feels like. Affection with no chance of fear." He sighed quietly, "Someone ought to be showing you loving compassion - I'm rather good at it."

"If you get close to people, you'll lose them."

It wasn't him reading Dorian. It was his own experience. He lost people when he talked to them, let them know him. One way or another.

"You're good at loving people. You just don't pick very good people to love sometimes." He arched to look up at Dorian. "You made better choices here."

Dorian's fingers pause, before he states quietly. "You will not lose me."

He kept stroking his way up and down the line of Cole's spine, as he looked back down at the other man. "Well I am glad you realize you are a much better choice."

"You don't hate what I am. And you don't want to make me go back to the Fade." Both those things were rare. Together, they felt nigh on unique.

Cole was very clearly enjoying the soft stroking, sinking further and further.

"Not me. The Iron Bull. Cremisius. You were flirting with better choices of people. People who would treat you like a person with feelings."

"No, I do not want you to go back to the Fade." Honestly they could stay here forever, as long as Cole's leg knitted up, and Dorian would be quite fine with it.

A flicker of amusement as Cole slipped down to his chest again, all but curling up and around him. Just like a cat.

His fingers slowed for a moment, before they poked. "You are a person with feelings. You feel everything. You just don't understand all of them."

"I don't want to go back either. Rhys did, once he stopped being angry. And Solas does, sometimes. He liked me being less human than I am now. I'm learning to feel things for me now."

He went back to stroking and kneading, eyes closed and breathing slow and steady.

"Why are you poking me?"

"Well, that's because they don't want you to lose who you are. I don't think either of them really understands that -- when you are made of Compassion, then you are always going to be compassionate. You can just be other things, too." Something of a hypocrite, Solas. Defining Cole by his spiritual state and not by who he was.

One corner of his mouth twisted up.

"Because you are saying that Iron Bull and Krem are better than you for me. I believe as your lover I can say who is better for me, eh?"

For insurgoaltus

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