killedwithlove | for insurgoaltus

"No. No nightmares. No dreams."

Or at least, none he remembered at the moment.

"I didn't mean to sleep. It just... happened."

"I am pleased to hear that ... the no dreams, not the not sleeping. You know you need to rest." Dorian said, his smile growing.

"I never needed to before." He let himself fall back, legs still around Dorian's hips, but flopped onto the bed. "I'll rest. While my leg is healing."

"Yeees, I can see that." Dorian smirked as he looked at the absolutely debauched Cole lying before him. He eased the young man's hips down, before sliding next to him, so he could ... well, curl up carefully.

"Your humanity is flourishing, and yet, you haven't lost yourself at all."

Cole almost protested being moved off Dorian's lap, but Dorian curled against him, so it was okay.

"Does that mean I need to eat? I don't feel hungry. I know what hungry feels like."

Dorian lifted his hand, focusing to dip a cloth into the water, and then brought it over so he could gently clean up Cole's nether regions, then his own.

"Frankly, that's probably a blessing. You'll never need to eat, because you are a spirit made flesh. It's like the magic - you did not want any magical abilities because of what happened to the other Cole. You don't want to starve to death, so you never need to eat."

Cole made a sound, but didn't try and move away, his eyes half closed.

"Oh." He had never thought about that, that he didn't, couldn't feel hunger as a safety thing. Protection from the horror of starving. "I hadn't- oh. Yes. That makes sense."

His hand dipped to touch his stomach, which was hollow at the moment before of how he was lying.

"I don't want to go through that. No."

He disappeared the cloth back to the other side of the room, and called over a towel to pat them both dry, before pulling the blanket up around Cole.

"Logical and sensible." He let his fingers follow Cole's. "Also attractive."

They were now lying upside down in the bed, but at least they were cleaner and dry and warm.

"I didn't consciously choose it."

Which is the way things should be after a nice sexual experience. He arched an eyebrow at that, before he gently 'beeped' Cole's nose.

"With that nose? I don't doubt it."

"What's wrong with my nose?" He wrinkled said nose after the beeping, arms coming to draw Dorian closer.

"Large, round thing." He tutted softly. "Not handsome at all. Makes your chin seem smaller by comparison."

Cole reached up and poked his own nose. "You like how I look anyway. Even though I'm not handsome."

Dorian allowed himself to be drawn closer, to curl in closer to Cole's body. "That I do. You're all right - and I am all right being the truly devastating one."

"You think I'm beautiful, even if my face isn't beautiful." He didn't know envy or jealousy, not yet, and he trusted Dorian's love. "You could have chosen someone more beautiful, but you picked me. Because I see you and I chose you."

His fingers started up a lazy stroke up and down Dorian's spine.

"I do think you're beautiful." Dorian said frankly, and honestly, he didn't need or want Cole to ever find out what those meant. He didn't want anything about this twisted. This was the good kind of love, after all. "And honestly ... I don't think there is someone more beautiful -- at least where it matters."

He sighed, as he leaned in to curl his entire body around Cole's, burying his face into Cole's shoulder. "Because I see you ... and I chose you, too."

Solas and Varric both meant well, but they told Cole how to be, rather than asking him how he was. He hadn't really understood before, but Dorian never tried to make him be anything.

He brought a hand to cradle Dorian's head, feeling his fine, dark hair. "If we sleep at the same time... could we meet in the Fade?"

Dorian smiled against Cole's skin, before he became more thoughtful. "I am not sure - I believe that would take more control of the dream world than I have ever possessed. I know how to mold my section of the Fade, my dreams, to my own wishes. But as I am a mage, I have to be careful."

"I can shape the Fade." If he was aware he was in the Fade, he could do it. "It was just a thought I had. I can't go back to the Fade, not now, I have a tether here, but if I dreamed... I must be touching it again. Like people."

"Huh ... then, it may be very possible." His lips curved up. "Being aware in the Fade is slightly harder. As Cadash has told me - you are usually half way through the dream before you realize it isn't real."

He looked up at Cole, bumping their noses together. "But with two very real things in it - we could try, if you want."

"Cadash doesn't dream usually. Dwarves don't. I want to try dreaming with you. It would be less scary, I think." He shifted to pull the blanket up more.

"Dorian... the Chantry says that the Maker made the Fade, and then he made the real world separate and that mages are unfortunate because they'd closer to the Fade than most.

"So does that make dwarves the maker's favourites? Because they don't touch the Fade at all?"

"Yes, and yet she walks in the Fade ..." He tilted his head a little more into the pillow, nuzzling his nose into Cole's neck. "All right, we can try it. Just remember, I will be the one more likely to drift."

He hummed for a moment, considering the question seriously. "I believe that dwarves are blessed because they don't have to worry about abominations and the like. Yet they are cursed, because they cannot dream. Dreams are ... well. Dreams are our hearts, laid bare."

"She thinks it's funny. That a dwarf walks in the Fade." That wasn't really a secret. She was fairly open in her amusement.

"Not now. Tonight? We can try then?"

He traced Dorian's courage across his back and into his resolve. "I don't know much about dreams."

"Of course she would. She laughs in the face of danger - before it tries to slice her from chest to toe." Dorian's sarcasm covered up the flash of worry he had for her.

"All right, tonight we will try to dream together." He hummed softly, "What would you like to know?"

Cole hummed softly, agreeing with Dorian. Not that Cole was much safer, but he wasn't laughing at it when he charged into battle.

"I don't know. I don't know what there is to know."

for insurgoaltus

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