killedwithlove | for insurgoaltus

Dorian made a face at that memory, before he looked down at Cole, a stab of sympathy coming over his face at the thought of it. "Well ... I suppose it is a good thing we are all part of the Inquisitor's family then, hmm?"

He stroked the side of Cole's face. "We cannot chose where we are born, but we can chose who we end up with, at the end. I chose Cadash - I chose this ... bizarre menagerie of friends, and ... I choose you, Cole."

There, he said it.

"Varric avoids his family too. Except his brother. He's dead. The red lyrium got him years ago."

He closed his eyes at the petting. It was abundantly clear, Cole enjoyed being touched and petted, even though he'd never really been much of one for physical contact before. Before he'd decided he liked hugs and crawling into Dorian's lap to cuddle.

"I know." He looked up and smiled. "It's nice."

"We are a sad bunch of orphans, aren't we?" Dorian murmured, mostly to himself, before he melted at that smile. He stole Cole's hand, so he could press a kiss into his palm, and then released it to go back to stroking that pale, fine mess of hair.

"I am glad you think so."

"I'm not an orphan. Spirits don't have parents. Cole was an orphan." Blackwall wasn't, or maybe he was, Cole couldn't tell, too many other things blocked his sight.

He stroked Dorian's knee again. "Very nice."

"Not in the true sense of the world - but you very much are alone in the world. Well, except for us and those here at Skyhold." They were truly a family forged by fire, blood, and sacrifice. Perhaps that was how family truly should be.

He hummed again, smiling back. "Good. It's meant to be very nice."

Cole lay there, thinking about that. He had been alone, very alone, for a very long time. Maybe he'd been like that in the Fade, too much will for most Compassion spirits.

"I... don't really want to be alone again. I like being with people. And you especially."

Dorian kept stroking that fine hair, digging his nails in a little so he could ease some of those thoughts out.

"Well, you don't have to be, and I am not going anywhere. You're interesting enough for me to stick around."

Cole made a soft noise at the nails against his scalp, just acknowledging the feeling more than anything.

"You love me enough to not leave me alone."

Those nails stop for a moment, before Dorian heaves out a sigh.

"You really do know how to see right to the heart of me, don't you?"

"Yes. That's what I am. Do. Those aren't always the same in this world." Not like spirits. Is, does, same thing.

"Do you want me not to?" He butted up against Dorian's hand again.

"No they are not - you are a spirit of Compassion, but I imagine .. and perhaps it is only imagination, that you can see deeper into me then most would be allowed." He scratched the top of Cole's head again, smirking.

"Could I stop you if I tried? Oh yes, it's rather annoying not being able to lie about my feelings -- but this is the burden I must bear, I suppose. Let me just say in public though, that I think you terribly dull, and I don't like you one bit."

"You want me to know." Dorian wanted Cole to know and understand how deeply Dorian felt about it. He knew that, because it scared and hurt Dorian at the same time. "I won't use it against you. I'm not like that."

He cuddled closer and pushed robe aside to kiss his stomach softly. "Whatever makes you happy."

"...Yes, I suppose I do. I don't like lies between lovers - I would want to know if this meant nothing to you. Just an experimentation, all that." Dorian let out a quieter side, as Cole curled close, pushing aside cloth to kiss his stomach.

"You are not cruel - not by nature. You wouldn't hurt me, I know this." One corner of his mouth lifts up, sadly, "Whatever makes me happy could have you tied to me for years and years, Cole."

"It's not nothing. Or experimentation. There is some experimentation, because I don't know how things feel and you need to help me work out what I like and what I don't. But I don't think you meant like that."

Cole didn't lie. Maybe, one day, he would work out why people lied, but he didn't yet.

"I think it would be awkward if we were tied together for years. Would it be the ankle, or the wrist? How long would the rope be?"

"... No I did not mean like that." Dorian's lips were twitching up, and twitched again at the following statement, before he burst out into a laugh.

"I did not mean literally, Nug. It's an expression. It means I want you to stay with me."

"Oh... I see. I thought being tied together would be very awkward. And uncomfortable."

But people did weird things, so he hadn't been willing to discount people doing that. "I do want to stay with you. I said that. Didn't I?"

"It would be unbelievably uncomfortable." Dorian kept a wide smile, his grey eyes brightening. "You said you wanted to be with me - and not that you would stay. I like it."

"I want to be with you and stay with you." He said it clearly, so there were no misunderstandings.

"But I don't want to be tied to you. That wouldn't be comfortable."

"Well ... then we will stick to the first two, and not the last." Dorian stroked his pale cheek, his grey eyes warming. "Deal?"

"That's a good idea. Though some people like tying up their lovers. The Iron Bull does." He reached up to catch Dorian's hand and hold it to his cheek.

"While that does sound amusing .... I don't think we are quite to that level yet, Cole." He kept his hand on Cole's cheek, tenderly tracing his jaw with his thumb.

"To what level?" He buried in again, kissing Dorian's stomach a couple of times.

"Mmm ... to the sexual prowess level where one or the other of us could be tied down on a bed while the other teases us with their hands and mouth." Dorian sighed at those kisses, sliding his hand up and down Cole's angular cheeks, down his pale through, and back again. "We'll work up to it. Eventually. No rush."

"All right." He was perfectly happy with that explanation and with waiting. Time still had a limited meaning to him. "No rush."

He pressed a couple more kisses, moving to linger on a tiny bruise that might have come from bumping into a bookshelf.

"That's right - no rush." He made a quiet, pleased noise, then winced a little as Cole's lips brushed against the bruise he had in fact gotten from bumping into one of the bookcases. He stroked Cole's hair again, his tone a quietly amused, "Kissing and making it better?"

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