killedwithlove | for insurgoaltus

Dorian allowed himself to be drawn closer, to curl in closer to Cole's body. "That I do. You're all right - and I am all right being the truly devastating one."

"You think I'm beautiful, even if my face isn't beautiful." He didn't know envy or jealousy, not yet, and he trusted Dorian's love. "You could have chosen someone more beautiful, but you picked me. Because I see you and I chose you."

His fingers started up a lazy stroke up and down Dorian's spine.

"I do think you're beautiful." Dorian said frankly, and honestly, he didn't need or want Cole to ever find out what those meant. He didn't want anything about this twisted. This was the good kind of love, after all. "And honestly ... I don't think there is someone more beautiful -- at least where it matters."

He sighed, as he leaned in to curl his entire body around Cole's, burying his face into Cole's shoulder. "Because I see you ... and I chose you, too."

Solas and Varric both meant well, but they told Cole how to be, rather than asking him how he was. He hadn't really understood before, but Dorian never tried to make him be anything.

He brought a hand to cradle Dorian's head, feeling his fine, dark hair. "If we sleep at the same time... could we meet in the Fade?"

Dorian smiled against Cole's skin, before he became more thoughtful. "I am not sure - I believe that would take more control of the dream world than I have ever possessed. I know how to mold my section of the Fade, my dreams, to my own wishes. But as I am a mage, I have to be careful."

"I can shape the Fade." If he was aware he was in the Fade, he could do it. "It was just a thought I had. I can't go back to the Fade, not now, I have a tether here, but if I dreamed... I must be touching it again. Like people."

"Huh ... then, it may be very possible." His lips curved up. "Being aware in the Fade is slightly harder. As Cadash has told me - you are usually half way through the dream before you realize it isn't real."

He looked up at Cole, bumping their noses together. "But with two very real things in it - we could try, if you want."

"Cadash doesn't dream usually. Dwarves don't. I want to try dreaming with you. It would be less scary, I think." He shifted to pull the blanket up more.

"Dorian... the Chantry says that the Maker made the Fade, and then he made the real world separate and that mages are unfortunate because they'd closer to the Fade than most.

"So does that make dwarves the maker's favourites? Because they don't touch the Fade at all?"

"Yes, and yet she walks in the Fade ..." He tilted his head a little more into the pillow, nuzzling his nose into Cole's neck. "All right, we can try it. Just remember, I will be the one more likely to drift."

He hummed for a moment, considering the question seriously. "I believe that dwarves are blessed because they don't have to worry about abominations and the like. Yet they are cursed, because they cannot dream. Dreams are ... well. Dreams are our hearts, laid bare."

"She thinks it's funny. That a dwarf walks in the Fade." That wasn't really a secret. She was fairly open in her amusement.

"Not now. Tonight? We can try then?"

He traced Dorian's courage across his back and into his resolve. "I don't know much about dreams."

"Of course she would. She laughs in the face of danger - before it tries to slice her from chest to toe." Dorian's sarcasm covered up the flash of worry he had for her.

"All right, tonight we will try to dream together." He hummed softly, "What would you like to know?"

Cole hummed softly, agreeing with Dorian. Not that Cole was much safer, but he wasn't laughing at it when he charged into battle.

"I don't know. I don't know what there is to know."

Dorian had seen how the both of them went into battle - and he preferred Cole's way. Secret and if not safe, at least fast.

"That is very true. Well, dreams are ... impressions from what we want."

And generally off to the side of whatever they were facing.

"And what has happened. There's a lot of what has happened and is remembered in the Fade, so it has to come from dreamers."

See? Dorian always like an intelligent battle. Especially when there was less chance of bleeding.

"You are right there. That, I believe, is why the Fade is so vast -- all our dreams ... live there. Waiting for us."

"And spirits." They weren't dreams. They were their own beings, in a sense. He traced a line, following a mark of hurt and stroking it softly. "And wisps. And the Black City."

"I often wonder if that's why spirits and demons want to cross into our world ... after all we went ahead and let ourselves into theirs without asking." Dorian hummed softly under his throat, as fingers traced down his back. "If I lived near the Black City, I would want to get out too."

"No. It's the emotions. Compassion spirits are brought across a lot, but they just flicker here and go back. The want of the healer to help compels them close.

"Desire likes you because you enjoy the sensuous. You like being tempted, because to be tempted, it means someone wants to tempt you." He followed his spine back up, weaving across his vertebra.

"I don't remember the Black City not being there. It didn't bother me. It just... was."

Dorian made a soft noise of pleasure, before he sighed. "Yes, I suppose that's true. How very vulnerable of me ... and stupid, I suppose. I shall have to guard myself more closely now, in the Fade."

Because he had something he desired now - and how easy would it be to twist that in the Fade? He would have to remember that.

"...So the Black City has been there for, what, ages?"

"No. Now they will find it more difficult. Because now there is something you want, here." They would offer a templar the family he could never have, a teenager the beautiful partner, ready to fulfill every whim, a wealth of knowledge maybe to a knowledge hungry scholar.

"You know it is the Fade. That is why you are in less danger than ever. Because you can come back here." And Cole would be there, waiting, adoring him.

"For as long as I know. But I don't know how long that is." Time, the Fade, mutuable things. He could've been a spirit for a hundred years. He could have been merely weeks old when he forced his way through.

Though the latter was far more likely.

"Really ... well that is comforting. As are you." Yet when he smiled, it was a quieter version of his brilliant flash of teeth, and much more tender. He also followed it up with a very soft kiss.

"Probably hundreds of years, knowing you." He reached up one hand to stroke back the fine golden hair, his gaze quiet and thoughtful.

"And if I go there, I'll not let them hurt you." It was a soft, easy statement. Compassion spirits were considered weak but Cole was far from just that.

He accepted the kiss with a soft smile of his own. "I like that smile. You don't show it as much, but you really mean it."

"Well ... let me say the same. I won't let them hurt your either."

Or rather, he wouldn't let them get five feet near Cole. He made a quiet 'hm' noise, pensive, before he kissed Cole again. "Because it is a smile for when I am feeling ... happy, and I have been rarely just happy in quite some time."

Cole shifted onto his side, pressing chest to chest with Dorian and sucking gently on his lower lip, lingering on it while his fingers played over Dorian's spine still.

He did draw back after a long moment. "I don't need to eat, but you do."

The warmth of Cole's bare skin, that lingering touch of Cole's lip, made him curl into that inviting body, parting his mouth slightly for a sigh.

Then another one, as Cole drew back. "Yes, I suppose so ... and I can arrange for more water to be brought up." He nuzzled in another kiss to Cole's jaw. "Besides, I cannot hide here forever."

for insurgoaltus

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