killedwithlove | DRIFT FLEET: IC CONTACT

But I might be able to help.

I want to help, Sorey. I want to help most people, but I really like you, I want to help make it hurt less. Could I?

[If Cole was a human being, Sorey might gently refuse. But...he's a spirit. His nature, his ideals, they're different from a human's. Sorey should respect that.]

If you really want to try, I'm okay with that. I just didn't want to upset you. [Especially after seeing how upset Cole was not to have someone close here.]

I might be able to help. I'll be there soon.

[He didn't need to ask where Sorey was. He could hone in on him and track him down, because his sense of compassion was strong enough for Cole to naturally gravitate to him.]

[Luckily he's not far from the ships; Sorey's just chilling out on the mesa near where the Huntress is parked, going through the notes he's been taking of the planet and relaxing in the shade of the ship. His domain is pure and clean as ever, but different in a way; less like sunshine and more like cool water. Honesty is keeping him pure right now, not joy.

None of the seraphim are inside of him at the moment though their spirits are tied tightly to Sorey's, ready to return at a moment's notice. Once Cole enters his domain Sorey glances up, looking around for him. He can feel him around somewhere...]

[Cole is slightly cautious as he draws near, the cooler emotions not calling to him the way that warmth and compassion did. He still approaches, more spirit than human right now, on this planet and saturated with magic.

He seems to shine ever so slightly when sunlight touches him, flushing him with a soft peach glow.]

Was it Atroma who made you so sad?

[Oh wow; Sorey thought the seraphim were pretty on this planet, but Cole is just as lovely. Maybe even moreso.

Sorey sets his work aside and laces his fingers in his lap.] No, it was me. I did this to myself.

...hi Cole.

[Compassion comes closer and sits himself down on the ground, far more graceful than Cole ever manages with his elbows and knees everywhere.

He folds his hands in his lap, mirroring Sorey.]
I don't really understand. I'm trying not to just delve into the hurt, because you're worried if I do, it might affect me like it did them.

[Ack. Yeah, Cole just read him like a book; he's definitely afraid of Cole looking too deeply into the source of Sorey's anxiety and pain and it hurting him somehow. That's just how malevolence works back home, and though he's pure now he's still not on stable ground. It's taking a lot of emotional and mental gymnastics to keep himself from slipping back into it.

Sorey leans forward, elbows on his knees, and scrapes his teeth over his lip. Will Cole feel better if Sorey gives him more detail? Anyone would, probably, if they've already said they want to help.]

Thanks, [he starts, fidgeting.] Uh, well...mostly I'm blaming myself, a lot. I know doing that won't help anybody in the end, least of all my friends, but it's very hard to stop myself. And...

[mine you're mine and I'll have you get back here don't go DON'T LEAVE ME

Sorey winces.]

I'm...trying not to think about what happened too closely. I'm afraid I'm- that I'm not ready to look at it yet. But if you need to know what happened, I can tell you.

You've never been alone.

[Cole understands how frightening alone is. Cole was alone when he died, it's why Compassion is here now. Sorey more than most people is made to have others with him, to have the Seraphim entangled with his very self and resting with him, never alone, always safe.]

If you don't want to talk about it yet, you don't have to. But I'll listen if you want to talk about it. You know I won't judge you. I couldn't if I wanted to.

[He really hasn't ever been alone; the one time he was cut off from his resonance and couldn't find his seraphim, it was for a scant few moments and it was due to his own arrogance. Funny how that would affect him as much as it did.]

I know. [Sorey shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair.] It's not you I'm afraid of.

...you know, I have a friend back home. She told me that if she ever thought that I would do more harm to the world than good, she'd kill me without even blinking. I didn't like hearing her talk like that back then, but after everything's happened...is it bad that I'm kind of relieved?

No. Not bad. When Cassandra and Cullen promised to kill me if I ever became a demon, it meant I didn't need to worry about it anymore. They'd make sure I never did more harm than good. And other people have promised that now, so I know if I became Despair, they'd stop me from taking others with me.

[But it's not just being alone for Sorey. It's being without Mikleo. That would be alien to him.

And Cole feels a tiny more of the human puzzle slip into place. He gives a small smile, a Cole smile rather than Compassion's generic expression of contentment.]

[Sorey wishes he can smile back. While he's a little glad not to be the only one to have thought something like that, at the same time he despises it.] I just hate the idea of a world where killing is necessary. I know you and I- we have different opinions on that. Different ways of doing things.

Thedas is a violent world. Very violent.

BUt... you understand now. Why I wanted someone who would promise to stop me.

I understand. [Sorey reaches for Cole's hand on instinct, stopping just short. He gets memories through touching things.

Sorey withdraws.] One of my friends has made promises like that all his life. Killing his friends and kin as they become monsters, because he had no way to purify them and he didn't want them to stay like that. It's not a kind thing to make your friends swear to do, huh? Even if it gives people like us peace of mind.

[Cole finishes the motion, catching Sorey's finger tips with his own.

He concentrates on not taking memories, though he still briefly chills across his fingers before flushing with more warmth than before, aching for Sorey, for Mikleo, for their friends who had to stop them.

He just stays like that, their fingertips lightly caught on each other.]

I never had to ask before here. Usually Cadash and Solas had to ask people not to try and kill me.

[He feels horribly guilty for it, but the contact helps so much he doesn't pull away. He's such a tactile person; being afraid to touch his friends has been weighing heavily on him. And Cole looks alright, doesn't look too troubled, so maybe it's okay...?]

You mentioned that before. That people in Thedas are afraid of spirits. [After a second of deliberation, Sorey leans closer to take Cole's hand more surely in his own.] I'm happy that's not something you have to struggle with often here.

Cole is so unused to touch that he's okay with this.

Fear. Hate. It's a lot of negativity that changes the spirits, because they experience it, learn to loathe themselves. That doesn't happen to me.

[Because Cole grounds him. And Cole was hated like even spirits rarely are. It inures him to the emotion, stops it taking him.]

No, only Fenris hates me here.

[Only Fenris, huh? Better keep an ear out for that guy just in case.]

That's a lot like what happens to seraphim from my home. Humans experience conflicts of the heart and generate malevolence, and after too much of it, it turns seraphim into monsters. Humans too, if there's enough of it. [As it's been made painfully clear.]

Edited 2016-10-30 23:40 (UTC)

Yes.

Mortals change us, and we change and then when we become demons, we start reaching out to them. Wisdom becomes Pride, Pride whispers to you how much better you are, generates more of itself.

[That sounds somehow even more personal and terrifying than becoming a hellion. Being a hellion is like being a different thing, but for the spirits of Cole's world, they just become a twisted version of themselves? How horrible.]

...and Compassion would become Despair? [It's sad. It always feels like no matter the world, mortals are there just to trouble spirits. But that's dangerous thinking, and Sorey is still struggling to find a good argument against it.]

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