[Cole understands how frightening alone is. Cole was alone when he died, it's why Compassion is here now. Sorey more than most people is made to have others with him, to have the Seraphim entangled with his very self and resting with him, never alone, always safe.]
If you don't want to talk about it yet, you don't have to. But I'll listen if you want to talk about it. You know I won't judge you. I couldn't if I wanted to.
[He really hasn't ever been alone; the one time he was cut off from his resonance and couldn't find his seraphim, it was for a scant few moments and it was due to his own arrogance. Funny how that would affect him as much as it did.]
I know. [Sorey shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair.] It's not you I'm afraid of.
...you know, I have a friend back home. She told me that if she ever thought that I would do more harm to the world than good, she'd kill me without even blinking. I didn't like hearing her talk like that back then, but after everything's happened...is it bad that I'm kind of relieved?
No. Not bad. When Cassandra and Cullen promised to kill me if I ever became a demon, it meant I didn't need to worry about it anymore. They'd make sure I never did more harm than good. And other people have promised that now, so I know if I became Despair, they'd stop me from taking others with me.
[But it's not just being alone for Sorey. It's being without Mikleo. That would be alien to him.
And Cole feels a tiny more of the human puzzle slip into place. He gives a small smile, a Cole smile rather than Compassion's generic expression of contentment.]
[Sorey wishes he can smile back. While he's a little glad not to be the only one to have thought something like that, at the same time he despises it.] I just hate the idea of a world where killing is necessary. I know you and I- we have different opinions on that. Different ways of doing things.
I understand. [Sorey reaches for Cole's hand on instinct, stopping just short. He gets memories through touching things.
Sorey withdraws.] One of my friends has made promises like that all his life. Killing his friends and kin as they become monsters, because he had no way to purify them and he didn't want them to stay like that. It's not a kind thing to make your friends swear to do, huh? Even if it gives people like us peace of mind.
[Cole finishes the motion, catching Sorey's finger tips with his own.
He concentrates on not taking memories, though he still briefly chills across his fingers before flushing with more warmth than before, aching for Sorey, for Mikleo, for their friends who had to stop them.
He just stays like that, their fingertips lightly caught on each other.]
I never had to ask before here. Usually Cadash and Solas had to ask people not to try and kill me.
[He feels horribly guilty for it, but the contact helps so much he doesn't pull away. He's such a tactile person; being afraid to touch his friends has been weighing heavily on him. And Cole looks alright, doesn't look too troubled, so maybe it's okay...?]
You mentioned that before. That people in Thedas are afraid of spirits. [After a second of deliberation, Sorey leans closer to take Cole's hand more surely in his own.] I'm happy that's not something you have to struggle with often here.
[Only Fenris, huh? Better keep an ear out for that guy just in case.]
That's a lot like what happens to seraphim from my home. Humans experience conflicts of the heart and generate malevolence, and after too much of it, it turns seraphim into monsters. Humans too, if there's enough of it. [As it's been made painfully clear.]
Mortals change us, and we change and then when we become demons, we start reaching out to them. Wisdom becomes Pride, Pride whispers to you how much better you are, generates more of itself.
[That sounds somehow even more personal and terrifying than becoming a hellion. Being a hellion is like being a different thing, but for the spirits of Cole's world, they just become a twisted version of themselves? How horrible.]
...and Compassion would become Despair? [It's sad. It always feels like no matter the world, mortals are there just to trouble spirits. But that's dangerous thinking, and Sorey is still struggling to find a good argument against it.]
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[Cole understands how frightening alone is. Cole was alone when he died, it's why Compassion is here now. Sorey more than most people is made to have others with him, to have the Seraphim entangled with his very self and resting with him, never alone, always safe.]
If you don't want to talk about it yet, you don't have to. But I'll listen if you want to talk about it. You know I won't judge you. I couldn't if I wanted to.
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I know. [Sorey shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair.] It's not you I'm afraid of.
...you know, I have a friend back home. She told me that if she ever thought that I would do more harm to the world than good, she'd kill me without even blinking. I didn't like hearing her talk like that back then, but after everything's happened...is it bad that I'm kind of relieved?
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[But it's not just being alone for Sorey. It's being without Mikleo. That would be alien to him.
And Cole feels a tiny more of the human puzzle slip into place. He gives a small smile, a Cole smile rather than Compassion's generic expression of contentment.]
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BUt... you understand now. Why I wanted someone who would promise to stop me.
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Sorey withdraws.] One of my friends has made promises like that all his life. Killing his friends and kin as they become monsters, because he had no way to purify them and he didn't want them to stay like that. It's not a kind thing to make your friends swear to do, huh? Even if it gives people like us peace of mind.
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He concentrates on not taking memories, though he still briefly chills across his fingers before flushing with more warmth than before, aching for Sorey, for Mikleo, for their friends who had to stop them.
He just stays like that, their fingertips lightly caught on each other.]
I never had to ask before here. Usually Cadash and Solas had to ask people not to try and kill me.
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You mentioned that before. That people in Thedas are afraid of spirits. [After a second of deliberation, Sorey leans closer to take Cole's hand more surely in his own.] I'm happy that's not something you have to struggle with often here.
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Fear. Hate. It's a lot of negativity that changes the spirits, because they experience it, learn to loathe themselves. That doesn't happen to me.
[Because Cole grounds him. And Cole was hated like even spirits rarely are. It inures him to the emotion, stops it taking him.]
No, only Fenris hates me here.
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That's a lot like what happens to seraphim from my home. Humans experience conflicts of the heart and generate malevolence, and after too much of it, it turns seraphim into monsters. Humans too, if there's enough of it. [As it's been made painfully clear.]
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Mortals change us, and we change and then when we become demons, we start reaching out to them. Wisdom becomes Pride, Pride whispers to you how much better you are, generates more of itself.
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...and Compassion would become Despair? [It's sad. It always feels like no matter the world, mortals are there just to trouble spirits. But that's dangerous thinking, and Sorey is still struggling to find a good argument against it.]