killedwithlove | For questionablewit

For questionablewit

If Hawke is going to make the mistake of hanging out on the battlements near the tavern, then she's going to have to live with the consequences.

Those consequences are silent observation, long, silent observation.

And then a question asked from nowhere, as Cole decides he needs to ask. "Why did Justice want to live in a body? Living in people isn't good for spirits."

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"You can hear what people think about you, and still manage to not care? That's a good trick." Hawke would have said, once, that she didn't give a damn what people thought about her, and with a few exceptions it would have been true. "Hold on to that, it beats the alternative."

She tilted her head and leaned back against the wall, considering him. "So who was that Cole, then? The one you're not?"

"So long as I can help them feel better, it doesn't matter what they think of me."

He looked to her and then away. "An apostate. Pharamond called him a hedge mage. The templars called him an apostate. They hurt him and they locked him up and forgot him.

"I came to comfort him when he was dying."

Hawke grimaced. No horror stories of the Circles could surprise her anymore, but they were never pleasant to hear. If there was any good thing about what happened in Kirkwall, for Hawke, it's that Bethany was free of the Gallows.

"I'm sorry," she said, and meant it. "That can't have been fun for either of you. And then afterwards you stayed here, to do compassionate things for other people? How?"

Cole scrubbed his hands over his face, thinking and remembering and maybe trying to fill in the holes at once.

"When he died... he left through me. I couldn't help him, so I became him. And then I forgot who I was and what I was. When I remembered what I was, it was too late. I couldn't go back."

He couldn't go back. He didn't know if he wanted to, actually. "I help people. That's good. You help them too."

Hawke snorted. "I try to help people. Opinions vary as to whether or not that's a good thing. Some would say I've done more harm than good."

Which would be why she'd been lying low for the past few years since Kirkwall.

"Not to mention that all too often helping one person means hurting another. How do you balance that out?"

She was honestly curious. It was a situation she ran into frequently, and something she imagined a Fade spirit would find tricky.

"All you can do is your best.

"I don't try to make big differences. I don't understand them. I just... try to stop people hurting other people. Like Lord Seeker Lambert. He liked hurting people. He liked making templars hurt mages. He used power and rules to protect himself. So I killed him, to stop him."

He hummed and rocked again. "I try to stop hurt. I don't usually have to hurt someone to help. A drink, a song from childhood, someone to tell them it wasn't their fault. And when I do have to stop people, I try to make it fast. Painless."

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For questionablewit

Baby achieved! Sorry about all that delay.

Congratulations on your unlocked achievement!

Thank you! Now if only I can unlock the "...and also sleep!" achievement.

I have bad news... I took seven years to sleep through the night...

Actually she's doing pretty well for a three-month-old! Phew.

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