killedwithlove | PSL: For Rhys

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PSL: For Rhys

It has been a long time since the rebellion at White Spire.

Cole doesn't know how long; he's not very good at working out how days translate into other periods of time. He knows there's been two winters, or was it three?

Now he helps people with the Inquisitor. Right now, helping people is finding his way through the dungeons while the fighting between the mages and templars rages outside. There's prisoners, captured mages, and Cole is to go in, sense the ones who don't want to hurt people and let them out of their cells and lead them back out again.

He crouches down at the next cell door, resting his brow on the wood and listening to the hum of emotions and memories, regrets for the last time he was in a cell like this, and not being able to help his strange spirit boy rescuer-

"Rhys?" He forgets about opening the door and instead warps the Fade to step through the solid wall. "Rhys?!"

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Rhys was both surprised and not at all surprised to end up here. And both for the same reason: he had chosen to speak out and cast the dividing vote. But to be considered a mage who might hurt people was just plain offensive.

He was however, surprised to see Cole appear before him. Maybe he shouldn't have been. But he was. And he might feel the slightest bit betrayed as well. Cole would be the one to judge him. He thinks Cole should know better. But then, it had been a few years... maybe the lad had forgotten in the way that so many others had forgotten him.

Rhys blinks a few times, trying to see in the dim light.

"Cole?"

Cole stops, looking, hearing and feeling and remembering, his memories, Rhys', everything that happened and things that have happened since.

He presses a hand to his head, shaking it slightly. "No. I haven't forgotten. I've never forgotten. I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to help you get out. While the Inquisitor yells at everyone out the front."

He takes a step back. "I- I'm sorry. But, you have to stay with me. For now. Until we're out. Then you don't have to see me again. Don't even have to remember me. I can make you forget. I think I can do that now."

Rhys tilts his head slightly. He's clearly confused.

"Cole? Why would I want to forget you? You spent so long hoping people would remember you, why would you want to make me forget?"

There were many times that Rhys didn't understand Cole, but this was the biggest.

"Because- you think I'm a demon. It might be easier. On you. To forget."

He can't read Rhys very well. Too many of his own emotions in the way. His own memories. "It doesn't matter now, I have to get you out with the others." He spins on his heel, dropping to one knee by the door and his fingers pressing busily at the lock while he whispers to it. "You want to open, I know you're job is to stop the door opening, but it's very important right now- ah. Thank you."

He reaches out and takes hold of Cole's hand.

"I'm not sure any of that matters where you're concerned. I'm not even sure it mattered before. But you are good now. And that's all that matters now."

He releases Cole and watches him work. He smiles when he hears the lock turn.

"You've gotten very good at that. Where are we going, in case we get separated?"

Cole's hand is thin, as thin as ever, and cool to touch but not inhumanly so. He bites his lip, not looking, not sure what to say, not the same needy boy who would've thrown himself into the slightest promise of human contact.

He's learned to go without contact. Without having anyone.

"The back cell, the always locked one, it's locked because there's a secret passage, the family built it in case, never know when peasants will revolt, always be ready to flee, slip out the back way, away from them. Cadash's family built it in, a long time ago." He pulls the door open and steps through, a thought carrying him further away in a curl of smoke, to the opposite door where he briefly rests his hand, listening to the soul inside. "No. Not this one."

Rhys nods to show he understands. He follows as closely behind as he can. Even though it's been a few years, he still trusts Cole completely. The lad had never let him down. Even when Cole should have run, he didn't. Rhys will always trust him and thank him for that.

"Not this one what?"

Rhys doesn't understand what's wrong.

"This person. Stays. Should've burned them all, burn the lot down, let the Maker sort them out if he cares to, no one's suffered like I have, I'll make them suffer." He shakes his head slightly. "She'd burn us as soon as them. Burn everyone."

He moves onto the next cell, hand coming to lay on on the door again. "I- found myself. What I was before Cole. Because of you."

Rhys has never been one to judge Cole's judgement of character - save when it came to himself. But bygones. He simply nods at the information.

"I see. Best leave her then."

He pauses outside of the next cell and has no idea what to say in reply.

"Cole... Are you saying that you are in there? I mean... your past self? Isn't it dangerous to meet yourself?"

Cole looks at Rhys, blinks and then gives a very slight smile. "No. I was just commenting. Saying." He drops to his knees again with a clunk of bone on stone and whispers the lock open (or is he picking it?) and pushes the door open. "You need to go with Rhys. He'll show where to go. How to get out."

He looks at Rhys again, asking with his gaze. Can Rhys direct them to the cell and out while Cole sorts out who need rescuing and who doesn't?

Rhys doesn't quite believe Cole, but he doesn't have much say in things right now.

"We'll wait for you on the other side."

Of the door, but it is enough. He speaks to the person inside the cell. "Come along, I'll keep you safe."

He only hopes he can be true to his word.

Cole gives them a glance, pale eyes almost luminous in the flickering light.

Then he's moving on. More doors, more whispers and more people being sent to the secret passage and Rhys. Mostly mages, though a few people who clearly aren't.

And when the people who need to be free are freed, Cole reappears down next to Rhys, pushing open the hidden door. "Go, quickly. They're becoming suspicious, we won't have much longer. Just keep going, follow the left wall."

Rhys nods. "Follow to the left. Got it. Are you done? We should have someone in the back to make sure no one lags behind."

"I'll be at the back," Cole clarifies. "Help the stragglers, stop anyone who might try and follow. Go, lead them, they trust you more."

Rhys nods. "Good. Keep them moving and keep them quiet."

He moves back to the front and gives similar instructions before slipping through and leading the way to the left.

It was a longish cavern, it felt familiar, though it didn't look familiar at all. But he knew better than to question Cole. If anything bad happened, well... there'd be time enough to address that later.

Cole waits until they're all out of sight of the door and then pushes it shut again and then follows along after them. He can see just fine in the darkness but he doesn't like it, still finds it claustrophobic and harrowing to be trapped in a dark space.

He picks up the pace.

The tunnel is not overly long, enough to get well away from the fort and grounds and slip out from among bushes and undergrowth to where several Inquisition scouts and soldiers wait, ready with water and blankets for the rescued.

Rhys uncharacteristically collapses into the arms of one of the rescuers. He allows for their fussing as they bundle him into a blanket and force him to drink some water. All he really wants is to go home. While he said he would help them, the inquisition was never his home.

"Thank you."

But it sounded more like a dismissal of those around him.

"We need to get moving." The scouts are friendly enough, but they need to get going, get away from the there before the break out is noticed. "Everyone's here now, we need to get moving."

In the distance a bit, Cole appears from the bushes, unnoticed by everyone else. He looks up, pale and holding himself, looks towards Rhys but makes no move to come and join them. If anything... he looks like he might just fade away, like he did in the Pit.

Rhys sees Cole in the distance. He senses what he fears might happen and once the others leave him alone, he moves toward him.

"Cole? What is it? Is something going to happen?"

Rhys could really do for a bit longer of a rest. But if Cole says they need to move, well, he'll listen to him.

Cole doesn't look as Rhys approaches, but he allows him to approach without trying to hide away.

"I can't see the future. I know what people will probably do, but not the future like that. But they'll notice. And they'll be angry. And they'll want their prisoners back. I don't know how long. I don't know if they'll be willing to attack, not a group of mages and soldiers." He hugs himself tighter.

Rhys relaxes. "Is that all? Of course they want us back. We weren't just held there for no reason, Cole. But it's all right. We don't need to know the future. We just need to stay far enough ahead of them."

He pauses and looks around.

"Will it make you feel better if we stay with the Inquisition for awhile?"

"Wisdom can guess the future," Cole murmurs. "Pride thinks it can." He rocks on his feet, fingers rumpling his clothing as he hugs himself.

"We?" He looks up at Rhys. "You- were so hurt. Betrayed. What did that thing make me do, why didn't I realise what he was... I thought maybe you'd forget me. Want to forget me."

Rhys' jaw drops. Is that what this was all about? Oh, no. This won't do at all.

"Cole. I never forgot you. You didn't betray me. We kept reminding each other of you. Evangeline and me."

They worked so hard to not forget him.

"I wasn't, I'm not a person, like we thought. A mage. There was a mage! Called Cole. He was real. but I'm, not as real? Not as human. Not a mage at all." He looks up, but his face is still fairly well hidden by his ridiculously large hat.

"I thought- I hurt you. And you'd want to forget. I never made you hurt anyone! I killed them, not you. Me."

Rhys sighs. He'd left Cole alone for too long. But he had thought Cole left him. He couldn't find him, so he had though Cole had vanished from existence, he had no way to really know what happened to the lad.

He moves to sit near Cole. Just enough to show he won't go anywhere.

"Cole. You are real. Just because you're not what you thought you were, or what I thought you were, doesn't mean you're not real. You are... just in a different way."

Rhys doesn't know how to explain it. But that is what he believes.

Cole hesitates and then sits next to Rhys, hugging his knees to his chest.

"I remember being Cole. I know I'm not, but I remember being him. I remember him, me? I remember dying. And then it was just-"

He hugs himself tighter. "Solas says I'm a spirit that has naturally manifested in this shape. And to be careful to protect what I am, because I'm rare. But I just want to help. It's what I've done. What you told me to do. Be brave and help and so I have."

Rhys offers a small smile when Cole sits closer to him. Good. This was good. Their time apart had clearly made the spirit more skittish than he had been before.

"You are very rare. Unique. Special. And now that we're together again, we can help to protect each other. You're not in this alone. I hope you know that if Solas was able to say that, he must feel the same?"

Or at least similar enough. Cole will never be abandoned.

Skittish in a different way. Definitely skittish about Rhys and allowing people to physically get close to him. Being here, with Rhys, it brings things back.

"I never know what Solas feels. I can't feel him, he won't let me. Sometimes I catch bits and pieces, fleeting memories and frightening feelings..." He hugs himself tighter. "I told the Inquisitor about you. And she decided to find you. I was upset, I told her not to do that, but I was glad she was able to send help. I didn't know you'd be here. I didn't think you'd want to see me again. Still being on this side of the Veil."

"I didn't think you'd want to find me again. Since I doubted you, however briefly... I betrayed you."

He sighs and then finds the irony of it all and starts to chuckle softly.

"We make quite the pair, don't we?"

"No! You didn't doubt, you heard- what we feared. That I'm not a mortal. A spirit. Demon." Madam de Fer spits that word if he's silly enough to get seen by her; it sits heavy in the Commander's mind and falls from Sera's mouth with thoughtless ease.

The chuckle makes him look up, reaching to Rhys'a emotions and not understanding the genuine mirth that tickles on the edges of his awareness. "Do we? A pair of what?"

But Rhys is still smiling. "I just mean that we each were seeing past each other a bit."

Rhys doesn't know how to explain it, so instead he gets serious again because of the word 'demon'.

"You're not a demon. You're far too good to be that."

"No. I'm not a demon. But Solas says the only difference between a spirit and a demon is the limited perception of mortals and the need to label us as different from one another when we're simply different emotions and ideas."

Cole hugs his knees tighter. "I was Compassion. Am- was. Was." He nods firmly.

"He's very wise. You would do well to listen to him."

He looks fondly at the lad.

"I would say you are Compassion. Not 'am' or 'was'. It is a state of existence for you."

"No. As a spirit. I'm Cole, spirit of Compassion. Maybe a little bit Mercy." Spirits aren't a little bit of different things, but Cole is. Cole feels things outside his nature.

He hugs himself tighter.

"I think it's why I was drawn to you. You were the only kindness I'd known. Could sense."

Rhys sighs. He doesn't want to fight. And then Cole... compliments him.

"You... When you say things like that, it makes me feel sad, Cole. You deserved so much better."

"He deserved better. I think- I was the only kindness he ever knew. Since Mama died. And I didn't remember that." He looks at Rhys with a wide eyed gaze. "You were good to me. Never feel bad about that, please."

He sighs softly.

"Fine. You both deserved better."

Because that's really how he feels about it.

Cole hums, not agreeing or disagreeing. He doesn't usually consider what's deserved in that manner. He kills people to stop them hurting others, not because they deserve it.

"Lambert deserved what I did to him," he finally says. "I know you told me to stop killing people, but he was evil. And no one else would or could stop him."

Rhys nods. He hadn't been talking about that. He just meant in general Cole and the spirit Cole - neither of them deserved the kinds of things people were doing to them.

He hangs his head for a moment.

"No one deserves death, Cole. Death happens in war, but no one deserves it."

Cole doesn't agree. He killed his father to stop him from torturing him. He killed Lambert to stop him whipping up a frenzy of hate and murder that made his black heart beat faster just to think about.

There was nothing good in Lambert. Compassion, Mercy, had known that.

For once, Cole doesn't share his thoughts. Maybe he doesn't want to fight with Rhys. Maybe he knows they can't agree on this, because he will never regret what he did to Lambert.

"There was a man. He killed me. But I didn't kill him back."

Rhys nods. "I know. I didn't mean..."

He sighs.

"It's been a long time, Cole. And I've seen a lot of killing."

ANd he's just so sick of it at this point.

Cole shuffles closer, shoulder to shoulder with Rhys and then trembles at the strength of his exhaustion, of how fed up he is but he still keeps going because he has that thread of Compassion so strong that it dragged a spirit back to itself.

He glomps onto Rhys, in an awkward, well intentioned and tight hug.

Rhys chuckles softly and accepts the hug. He turns slightly so that he can hug Cole properly in return.

After about of minute of silence, he finally whispers.

"I've missed you."

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PSL: For Rhys

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Welp, I so didn't get this... Sorry ^^;

It's okay, I've had a crazy few weeks anyway.